{"id":1014,"date":"2026-05-18T13:07:00","date_gmt":"2026-05-18T13:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=1014"},"modified":"2026-05-18T13:07:00","modified_gmt":"2026-05-18T13:07:00","slug":"asking-eric-my-husband-blows-up-when-i-hire-someone-to-fix-what-he-cant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=1014","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: My husband blows up when I hire someone to fix what he can\u2019t"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric<\/strong>: Neither my husband nor I have handyman skills. My husband has no interest in taking on Mr. Fix-it home repairs. We have sufficient income to hire someone else.<\/p>\n

Read more Orlando Sentinel 150: Monday Memory of how Orlando got Harry P. Leu Gardens<\/a><\/p>\n

However, whenever something relatively minor goes wrong (door lock needs replacing, toilet flushing mechanism sometimes doesn\u2019t work, ceiling fan needs replacing), my husband comes up with creative solutions that \u201cfix\u201d the problem (\u201c\u2026if you jiggle the toilet handle in this particular way, there is no problem\u201d).<\/p>\n

Depending on the seriousness of the problem, we lurch along this way for a few hours\/days\/weeks. Then I say \u201cThis isn\u2019t working. I\u2019m calling a professional.\u201c<\/p>\n

At this point he blows up and causes a scene. He gaslights me by telling me all is OK. I eventually call a professional while he is still protesting in the background. If the person can come soon to do the repair, he wants to put it off a few days (or weeks).<\/p>\n

When the repair person comes, my husband is on good behavior and is relieved once the repair has been done.<\/p>\n

What causes this high level of anxiety, and is there any way to avoid the unnecessary drama? It adds an extra layer of stress to a situation that I have to deal with on my own.<\/p>\n

We are retired. It has been going on for years. He was in therapy for many years and is unlikely to go back at his age. His anxieties about other issues have lessened but this is as strong as ever.<\/p>\n

Once when he was hospitalized for two weeks, I went ahead and got a few repairs done without mentioning it to him. He was glad to see the result. It was much less stressful on him and on me. Thanks for your help.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2013 Mrs. Fix-It<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Mrs. Fix-It:<\/strong> You have my sympathies \u2013 not only do you have to fix household items when they break, but you\u2019re also being asked to fix your husband\u2019s moods about the fixing. It\u2019s not fair to you, and this burden is hurting your marriage.<\/p>\n

Your husband is making you responsible for something that he should be managing on his own. Perhaps he feels his pride being dinged when someone else makes a repair that he can\u2019t; perhaps there\u2019s something else happening. Either way, it\u2019s his job to look inside and deal with it.<\/p>\n

What he\u2019s doing instead is creating emotional damage in your relationship where there needn\u2019t be any.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Before the next blowup, have a frank conversation with him about this cycle that you\u2019re in. Tell him that it\u2019s harmful to you and it\u2019s unnecessary. You might even show him this letter.<\/p>\n

Read more Minor to moderate HeatRisk with showers and storms forecast<\/a><\/p>\n

Tell him that these are minor repairs and yet his response is making them major issues. Ask him if he understands what you\u2019re saying and ask him how he plans to address it on his own, because unlike the latch or the ceiling fan, this is something he can (and must) fix.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> My parents divorced and my father remarried more than 20 years ago. My wife, our children and I would visit every year or two. The visits were cordial but fairly superficial so I did not have a strong relationship with my father or his wife.<\/p>\n

My father passed away recently, and I have been dealing with his wife for the funeral arrangements and as the executor of his estate.<\/p>\n

I do not like spending time with his wife because she is very controlling and judgmental. When all of these tasks are completed, I do not want to stay in touch with her.<\/p>\n

If she does contact me in the future, how do I tell her I do not want to get together? Or do I say something now? I don\u2019t want to be harsh, but I do not want her in my life.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Done Being Stepson<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Done:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry for the loss of your father. Even though you weren\u2019t close, this period surely brings up a host of difficult emotions. It\u2019s for that reason that I wouldn\u2019t advise having a conversation about severing ties with your father\u2019s wife now.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t seem like a subject that needs to be broached at present and would likely cause unnecessary pain and conflict.<\/p>\n

Instead, if she reaches out in the future, you can set a clear boundary by declining her invitation. You should think about what kind of contact, if any, you\u2019d be comfortable with. Are you OK with holiday cards? Can she call you in an emergency? Are you involved in some way in her end-of-life plan?<\/p>\n

Perhaps the answer to all of those questions is no. That\u2019s fine. None of these are questions that have to be answered now. But thinking about them will help you get internal clarity about your feelings. And that clarity will help set a better boundary.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Florida gas prices decline as millions prepare for Memorial Day travel<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My husband gaslights me by telling me all is OK when it clearly isn’t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1014","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: My husband blows up when I hire someone to fix what he can\u2019t - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=1014\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: My husband blows up when I hire someone to fix what he can\u2019t - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My husband gaslights me by telling me all is OK when it clearly isn't.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=1014\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-18T13:07:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=1014#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=1014\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: My husband blows up when I hire someone to fix what he can\u2019t\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-18T13:07:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=1014\"},\"wordCount\":913,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=1014#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/3ccac55769616238d9aeb193121c87e2.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=1014#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=1014\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=1014\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My husband blows up when I hire someone to fix what he can\u2019t - 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