{"id":1301,"date":"2026-05-21T14:05:45","date_gmt":"2026-05-21T14:05:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=1301"},"modified":"2026-05-21T14:05:45","modified_gmt":"2026-05-21T14:05:45","slug":"asking-eric-my-husband-turns-his-ire-on-me-in-public-threatens-to-leave-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=1301","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: My husband turns his ire on me in public, threatens to leave me"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> My husband and I are in our 70s. He is kind and generous to me and has no problem with buying me expensive gifts.<\/p>\n

Read more It\u2019s all in the family at The Baker\u2019s Son | Review<\/a><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t go out very often, but when we do, he often will blow his top when he sees the cost of food or tickets to an event, even when I offer to pay my share.<\/p>\n

He makes a public scene, and I worry that someone will call security. He doesn\u2019t yell at the employees but turns his ire on me.<\/p>\n

When I try to reason with him, he says he\u2019s going to leave me wherever we are (he never has). I\u2019ve learned not to engage with him when he gets to this point, and I calmly tell him I\u2019ll just take the bus home, and I pull out my phone and start scrolling.<\/p>\n

He calms down fairly quickly and always apologizes, but I\u2019m left shaken, as well as angry and disappointed because he has spoiled what I thought might be a good time.<\/p>\n

I then resolve to only come back to the \u201coffending\u201d establishment with my friends and leave him at home.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, I try to talk to him beforehand and remind him that the prices will be high and I walk him through what might be a better reaction, and I ask him to make suggestions about what would make him more comfortable. It\u2019s exhausting for me, but it works once in a while.<\/p>\n

Is there anything else I can do, like learn to let this roll off my back?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2013 Married to a Cranky Old Coot<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Married<\/strong>: Good on you for trying to have a reasonable conversation with him. His inability or unwillingness to amend his behavior is a major cause for concern, however.<\/p>\n

Blowing up at you and making threats about leaving you is emotionally abusive behavior. Consider talking to a friend or a therapist about his behavior to see if there are other places where you\u2019re having to deal with outbursts or manipulative actions.<\/p>\n

Right now, he isn\u2019t deserving of the privilege of going out with you. Explain to him that these outbursts aren\u2019t just embarrassing, but they\u2019re emotionally abusive and make you unsafe. Tell him that you won\u2019t be going out with him at all until he talks to a counselor and comes up with a plan to control his emotions. He then needs to demonstrate that the plan is working and you\u2019re safe before you can go out again.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: My wife is retired and does the majority of grocery shopping and cooking. For the past year or so she has also insisted on packing me a lunch to take to work.<\/p>\n

Read more Afternoon showers and storms with temperatures peak in the 90s<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a teacher and bringing lunch has been part of my daily routine for years (there\u2019s no time in the school day to go out to lunch). She packs things like soups, salads or leftovers from dinner the night before. Sometimes, she even makes hand-held breakfasts to go!<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never asked for help with meal prep but we\u2019ve just sort of fallen into this routine. This is very generous of her, and I appreciate that she wants to help make my workweek a little easier.<\/p>\n

While I always express my gratitude, what I haven\u2019t said is that I sometimes find hair in my meals. My wife\u2019s hair is distinctive-looking; it\u2019s longish, curly and gray.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to be critical or seem ungrateful, but it\u2019s pretty unappetizing. What\u2019s your advice for how to communicate about this without hurting her feelings?<\/p>\n

\u2013 A Hairy Predicament<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Hairy:<\/strong> I\u2019m curious if you find hair in the dinners she makes as well or just the lunches. I suppose it\u2019s moot, but you might employ a different strategy if this was related more broadly to kitchen hygiene practices.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s assume it\u2019s just about lunch. I honestly think that the easiest course of action would be to pick out the hair and move on. However, I am empathetic to the fact that we can\u2019t always control what makes us lose our appetites, nor whether that appetite comes back. If your wife\u2019s kind gesture isn\u2019t having the desired impact, it\u2019s fine to pivot.<\/p>\n

You can do this indirectly by telling her you appreciate how much help she\u2019s providing with grocery shopping and cooking, and you have appreciated the lunches, but you\u2019d like to pack them yourself again. You can assure her that this isn\u2019t about the quality of the lunches (outside of the hair, it seems they were quite wonderful).<\/p>\n

Or you can do this directly by expressing the same level of gratitude but also mentioning that you\u2019ve noticed hairs on occasion. You might ask if she\u2019s noticed it, too. If she hasn\u2019t, a solution might be as simple as asking her to keep an eye out.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Orlando Sings celebrates America, and America\u2019s promise, with power | Review<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He gets upset about food and ticket prices when we go out. 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