{"id":2719,"date":"2026-06-04T10:05:03","date_gmt":"2026-06-04T10:05:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2719"},"modified":"2026-06-04T10:05:03","modified_gmt":"2026-06-04T10:05:03","slug":"asking-eric-the-kids-are-counting-on-me-but-im-burned-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2719","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: The kids are counting on me but I\u2019m burned out"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric<\/strong>: I am 64 years old and I have a wonderful son and daughter-in-law. They have 4-month-old twin boys and my 2-year-old beautiful autistic grandson.<\/p>\n

Read more Foreigner Restaurant\u2019s \u2018Quatro\u2019: exceptional \u2014 and accessible | Review<\/a><\/p>\n

I worked in management in the corporate world for many years. As my children married and moved into their own home, I provided them many things: appliances, a car, help with the down payment. They have always been very appreciative. They have never asked me for anything; I have always offered. We have a beautiful relationship.<\/p>\n

I retired early so I could babysit my 2-year-old grandson. I started when he was 4 months old. I cut down my bills greatly so I could do this. I live in a tiny home on the kids\u2019 property so we can have our separate lives.<\/p>\n

The problem is, watching their children is very taxing. I really have no life. They\u2019ve adjusted their schedule, so I only watch the children seven hours a day instead of 12, but it\u2019s still too much. I have five years before these children go to school, and I feel so trapped.<\/p>\n

They cannot afford daycare and even if they could we don\u2019t want the children in daycare. They have no other relatives that can help.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve chosen to do this. I\u2019m just not sure what to do to have some sort of life beyond my family. I\u2019m so exhausted all the time.<\/p>\n

What should I do?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Exhausted Grandmother<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Grandmother<\/strong>: You\u2019ve sacrificed and given a lot. It sounds like you were happy to do so, but it\u2019s still important that it\u2019s said. It\u2019s also important to acknowledge that help happily given can sometimes still be burdensome.<\/p>\n

To that end, talk to your son and daughter-in-law about what\u2019s going on with you and enlist them in helping to come up with a plan that works for everyone.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s absolutely OK to say, \u201cI changed my life so that I could help; I still want to help, but it\u2019s not sustainable for me to keep helping in the way that I have been.\u201d And then talk to them about what an ideal situation would look like for you and ask to brainstorm together how that can be achieved.<\/p>\n

The solution may involve options that aren\u2019t their first choice, like a day or two in daycare per week, but are still healthy for the kids. That\u2019s OK. Right now, it sounds like you don\u2019t have any choice (or at least that\u2019s the way you feel). This isn\u2019t sustainable long term.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

You don\u2019t have to hide the reality of their lives from them. You\u2019re a part of their lives and it will empower them and you to tell them what\u2019s going on before it becomes a crisis that threatens the whole arrangement.<\/p>\n

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Dear Eric<\/strong>: My sister divorced her husband over three years ago. About a year later, she had the man she had been having an affair with move into her married home.<\/p>\n

This man swears in front of my nephew. He\u2019s made comments about hitting my sister if she did or said something he\u2019d disliked. He constantly makes belittling or offensive comments.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m deeply concerned about the negative impact my nephew\u2019s toxic and narcissistic mother has had on him.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s exasperating to talk to my sister as it usually ends up in a screaming match when things don\u2019t go her way. My mother is worse and anything I say, I\u2019m either villainized or completely dismissed. My mother backs my sister 110 percent and anyone who stands in her path will be demonized, including my father.<\/p>\n

Currently my father wants to evict this man from the house (my father bought it for my sister and her then-husband but it\u2019s still in my father\u2019s name). I\u2019m worried where all this will lead and the impact it will have on the family dynamic, more importantly my nephew.<\/p>\n

I just need advice on how to proceed as I feel like this toxic family dynamic is likely to implode at some point.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Family Peace<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Family<\/strong>: If you fear your nephew is in danger, you need to contact Child Protective Services. I don\u2019t write this lightly, but if the threat of abuse is present, or if he is being mistreated in other ways, it\u2019s necessary to get support.<\/p>\n

Taking a step back, if your nephew is safe but nevertheless in an environment with people who are making unhealthy life choices, his relationship will be really important as he\u2019ll need external support and role models.<\/p>\n

Invest your energies there, rather than in trying to debate with your mother or inserting yourself into the conflict between your father and this man. There\u2019s a lot of tension here; there\u2019s a lot of unhappiness here. You can\u2019t change all of it, but you can be a steadying and positive presence for your nephew.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Trump administration has separated dozens of children from their parents for a second time, AP finds<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I chose this life with my grandkids not realizing how exhausting it would be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: The kids are counting on me but I\u2019m burned out - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2719\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: The kids are counting on me but I\u2019m burned out - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I chose this life with my grandkids not realizing how exhausting it would be.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2719\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-04T10:05:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2719#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2719\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: The kids are counting on me but I\u2019m burned out\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-04T10:05:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2719\"},\"wordCount\":919,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2719#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/3ccac55769616238d9aeb193121c87e2.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2719#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2719\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2719\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: The kids are counting on me but I\u2019m burned out - 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