{"id":2909,"date":"2026-06-05T11:04:12","date_gmt":"2026-06-05T11:04:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2909"},"modified":"2026-06-05T11:04:12","modified_gmt":"2026-06-05T11:04:12","slug":"asking-eric-my-partner-says-i-need-to-split-all-possessions-with-his-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2909","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: My partner says I need to split all possessions with his wife"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric<\/strong>: Eighteen years ago, I got into a relationship with someone who was separated from his wife.<\/p>\n

Read more Lawsuits challenging embryo disposal could hinder IVF<\/a><\/p>\n

He was upfront about never wanting to remarry, and in no hurry to get divorced either. To this day, she lives in the house that he had built.<\/p>\n

It does upset me that they text every day or talk several times a week. He\u2019s always paid for everything for her because he says it\u2019s his fault she has no income because he wanted her to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. I\u2019ve never taken any money from him or asked him to cover anything for myself or my children.<\/p>\n

Now he may have an illness that hopefully has been caught in time. However, he says to me if things should go south, he wants me to have my personal things from the house we\u2019ve made together and then split everything else with her.<\/p>\n

Not to sound greedy, but for the last 18 years, I\u2019ve bought his clothes, shoes, groceries, and taken care of him. She has done nothing but take and take and take.<\/p>\n

She\u2019ll have his Social Security, life insurance, checking accounts and a waterfront home that\u2019s totally paid for. I have the pleasure of packing my personal belongings from the house that he rents, but anything of value, he\u2019s expecting me to share half with her, even though it was something he and I both enjoyed purchasing together.<\/p>\n

I told him he and I should discuss this, and he said he\u2019s not discussing it anymore. I\u2019m absolutely crushed. Are my feelings justified or am I coming off as selfish?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Broken Heart<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Broken Heart<\/strong>: Your concern is justified. You\u2019ve built a life together, gotten entangled emotionally and financially, and his thinking is disempowering to you at best. At worst, it could wreak havoc on your finances and living situation.<\/p>\n

While he may be in a committed relationship with you, it\u2019s clear that his connection to his estranged wife is still very strong. Some might say that relationship never really ended. If that works for everybody involved, fine. But it\u2019s clear that it doesn\u2019t fully work for you.<\/p>\n

The work in front of you is figuring out what\u2019s changeable and what you need to accept. First, if you don\u2019t already have clarity about what is shared property, get it. Talk to a lawyer about what your rights are; if your name isn\u2019t on the lease, change that.<\/p>\n

Protecting yourself financially is paramount, but it won\u2019t change the pain you\u2019re feeling. That\u2019s something that you and he need to work on, perhaps in therapy. Even if he won\u2019t discuss his wishes for his property, he needs to be willing to discuss your relationship.<\/p>\n

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\n<\/div>\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: My sister and I go to my mom\u2019s house to help with house chores that she is unable to do due to her age and disability.<\/p>\n

I sometimes pull out boxes upon boxes to look for any important paperwork or pictures or just things that our mother would like to leave behind to my other siblings. We are a family of five children, and I like everything organized and put in place.<\/p>\n

What I am trying to do is ask our mother what to do with her \u201cstuff.\u201d I don\u2019t want to wait until after she passes and end up arguing with siblings. I am the Power of Attorney of her estate.<\/p>\n

Lately, it looks like our mother doesn\u2019t want me looking through her things. How can I explain that this needs to be done before she leaves this earth and us kids end up fighting over petty or valuable things?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Not Making It Easy<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Easy:<\/strong> One thing that I don\u2019t see in your letter is an indication that your mother asked for this help. Maybe you did, or it was assumed, but either way it should be revisited.<\/p>\n

It seems like your mother doesn\u2019t feel she\u2019s being meaningfully involved in the sorting of her possessions, and so it may feel to her that she\u2019s being treated like she\u2019s already gone. And while she may be empathetic to the incredible stress and confusion that can come from sorting through a loved one\u2019s belongings after death, that may not be top of mind for her because she is still alive.<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019d suggest backing up a little, telling her that you got a little over your skis, and ask her for permission and direction. And if she says that she\u2019s not up to sorting through her things right now, accept it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s up to you and your siblings to avoid fighting over her things. That may be easier said than done, and your mother can certainly help by creating an end-of-life plan and a will, but some future fight should not be her present burden. Nor should it be yours.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Eric Thomas: For 18 years I’ve paid his household expenses, while she just takes and takes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: My partner says I need to split all possessions with his wife - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2909\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: My partner says I need to split all possessions with his wife - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Eric Thomas: For 18 years I've paid his household expenses, while she just takes and takes.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=2909\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-05T11:04:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2909#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2909\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: My partner says I need to split all possessions with his wife\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-05T11:04:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2909\"},\"wordCount\":919,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2909#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2909#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2909\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=2909\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My partner says I need to split all possessions with his wife - 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