{"id":37,"date":"2026-05-10T21:34:52","date_gmt":"2026-05-10T21:34:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37"},"modified":"2026-05-10T21:34:52","modified_gmt":"2026-05-10T21:34:52","slug":"asking-eric-my-supposed-friend-gave-my-fiance-an-inappropriate-gift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: Is it appropriate for a woman to give jewelry to a man who is engaged to someone else?<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: I told a lie to prevent him from eating in my car. Now my wife is angry.<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not talking about a watch; I mean an expensive and bold necklace. The woman in question is supposedly my friend, and the man is my fianc\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Am I the only one who sees this as a personal item, like something you would give a lover, not a friend\u2019s fianc\u00e9? Am I overreacting?<\/p>\n

The gift giver is married; her husband and my fianc\u00e9 are friends.<\/p>\n

This was a Christmas gift, not a birthday gift, if that means anything.<\/p>\n

I am deeply hurt and mad about this, but he says I am being jealous and that I need to get over it and let it go. I would really like to know your opinion on this.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Inappropriate Necklace<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Necklace<\/strong>: If it\u2019s bothering you, that feeling is worth listening to. It\u2019s less useful to cite a hard-and-fast rule about gifting jewelry to men here.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Each relationship is unique and it seems the specific dynamics of this set of relationships are getting muddled. For instance, it occurred to your friend to buy a necklace for your fianc\u00e9 and presumably she thought that this gift matched their dynamic and indicated something platonic.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s obviously not unheard of to buy friends jewelry, but because taste plays so big a part in it, it can be a risky choice. Clearly, she felt the risk was low. It either indicates she\u2019s a master gift-giver or she feels she knows your fianc\u00e9 well.<\/p>\n

This, to me, suggests a disconnect in the relationships here. If she feels she knows your fianc\u00e9 well enough to buy a big necklace and you\u2019re feeling thrown off and upset about the present, the two of you aren\u2019t seeing the relationship dynamic the same way. It\u2019s worth talking to her about it.<\/p>\n

Use \u201cI\u201d statements in conversation to let her know how you felt and ask her what she was feeling and thinking. Try to avoid accusations, if you can. You may find that you see the gift differently after a conversation or the conversation may lead you to ask her not to give such extravagant gifts to your fianc\u00e9 anymore, for the sake of your friendship and your relationship with your fianc\u00e9.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> I really enjoy your column and could use some advice on tact and kindness.<\/p>\n

My spouse and I adopted our child when she was a week old. Her birth mother had arrived at the hospital on drugs and without any plan for the baby. She signed away her rights and took no part in selecting us to be the child\u2019s parents.<\/p>\n

Read more Iran responds to US ceasefire proposal but Trump rejects it as \u2018unacceptable\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

An adoption agency selected us, and we jumped at the opportunity.\u00a0The birth mother died of a drug overdose shortly thereafter. We never met her.<\/p>\n

For the last five years, I have maintained a correspondence relationship with the birth mother\u2019s mother, sending her photos and updates. She writes often of her daughter and the pain of losing her.<\/p>\n

She also asks often to hear the adoption story. She thinks one of her daughter\u2019s last acts was choosing us to raise the baby, and that makes her proud and happy.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t bear to tell her the truth, but also can\u2019t lie to her, so I\u2019ve just been avoiding the question. But it has gone on too long and she keeps asking. What do I tell her?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Motherhood Truth<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Truth<\/strong>: Your child\u2019s biological grandmother is doing something very understandable: reaching for a narrative to help her process and survive her grief.<\/p>\n

I daresay we all do it, to some extent. We use selected facts from life to tell stories about the deceased that help answer our questions or heal our pain. In a grief process, the whole truth may not always be what we want to hear but it can help guide us to a more healing story.<\/p>\n

So, in short, tell her the truth as you understand it. \u201cI know that you\u2019ve been thinking about your daughter choosing us and, because we\u2019ve established this connection, I want to make sure I\u2019m not giving you the wrong impression. The adoption agency acted as an intermediary and so I never met your daughter, but I\u2019m so grateful for the choice she made.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s totally fine for her to incorporate this new information into her story. It\u2019s very possible that it will continue to make her proud. Indeed, deep down the pride she feels may not actually be connected to her daughter choosing you specifically.<\/p>\n

There are many ways of looking at the story of a person\u2019s life. It seems that the mother is focusing on the foresight that her daughter showed by choosing not to try to raise her child. Ultimately, that interpretation still stands.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Daily Horoscope for May 10, 2026<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: She thinks her late daughter chose me to raise the baby, and that’s not how it was.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: She thinks her late daughter chose me to raise the baby, and that's not how it was.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-10T21:34:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"629\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-10T21:34:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37\"},\"wordCount\":903,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift - Orlando Relocation Report\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-10T21:34:52+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":629},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=37#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Orlando Relocation Report\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift - Orlando Relocation Report","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift - Orlando Relocation Report","og_description":"Plus: She thinks her late daughter chose me to raise the baby, and that's not how it was.","og_url":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37","og_site_name":"Orlando Relocation Report","article_published_time":"2026-05-10T21:34:52+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1024,"height":629,"url":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp","type":"image\/webp"}],"author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8"},"headline":"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift","datePublished":"2026-05-10T21:34:52+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37"},"wordCount":903,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37","url":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37","name":"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift - Orlando Relocation Report","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp","datePublished":"2026-05-10T21:34:52+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp","width":1024,"height":629},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=37#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Asking Eric: My supposed friend gave my fianc\u00e9 an inappropriate gift"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/","name":"Orlando Relocation Report","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com"],"url":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/19"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}