{"id":4267,"date":"2026-06-15T10:35:55","date_gmt":"2026-06-15T10:35:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4267"},"modified":"2026-06-15T10:35:55","modified_gmt":"2026-06-15T10:35:55","slug":"miss-manners-must-i-stay-quiet-when-they-ridicule-america","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4267","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: Must I stay quiet when they ridicule America?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS:<\/strong> My husband and I do a lot of recreational traveling abroad. Sometimes, we take guided tours. In these, there are a significant number of comments using America as a source of laughter.<\/p>\n

Read more Florida\u2019s preschool teacher shortage forces some to turn children away<\/a><\/p>\n

How should I handle this? Just stand there and be humiliated?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Well, no, but neither do you want to start a political fight, which most people would not consider recreational.<\/p>\n

When that seems to be where the remarks are headed \u2014 and unless you encounter serious people who are willing to talk about their national problems, as well \u2014 Miss Manners would suggest demurring with \u201cWe\u2019re not thinking about such things while we\u2019re on vacation.\u201d<\/p>\n

But you are talking about ridicule. Then, the first rule is not to join in the laughter, but to keep a perfectly straight face. Then you might say gently, even wistfully, \u201cWe\u2019re guests here, you know,\u201d thus alerting sneerers that they are being rude. But don\u2019t pause before adding \u201cand we\u2019d love to hear some of the funny things about your country.\u201d<\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: Do you have a suitable answer to those who say to me, an older woman, \u201cYou must have been attractive when you were young,\u201d or after looking at an earlier photo, \u201cIs that you?\u201d<\/p>\n

I also feel uncomfortable when being referred to as a \u201cyoung lady\u201d or a \u201cgirl,\u201d and being told I\u2019m \u201cX years young,\u201d or being asked \u201cHow old are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: It is an affliction of old age to be patronized by the young, who lack the imagination to realize that with any luck, that is where they are heading.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Remember the \u201cNever trust anyone over 30\u201d cry? The person who started that is now 86 years old.<\/p>\n

Read more Who is Uncle Pappy? Meet Blair Carlyle, the 30-year-old Floridian behind popular social media persona<\/a><\/p>\n

Miss Manners will shock you by the antidote she recommends: Flaunt your age. This will give the lie to anyone who thinks it embarrasses you, or who thinks you would welcome their help in denying it.<\/p>\n

So while it is indeed considered rude to ask the age of grownups in this society, she is suggesting that you give an honest answer. And correct the \u201cyears young\u201d construction by saying, \u201cNo, I\u2019m X years old.\u201d When addressed as \u201cyoung lady,\u201d or referred to as a \u201cgirl,\u201d say, \u201cSurely you are not referring to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you do all this pleasantly, as if you were puzzled, rather than offended, it will become clear that the underlying assumption of this supposed flattery is invalid.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But the \u201cmust have been\u201d remark requires no answer whatsoever \u2014 just let it hang there. And \u201cIs that you?\u201d needs only a simple yes. Although you might add, as if explaining life to a child, \u201cI was younger then.\u201d<\/p>\n

To be clear: Miss Manners is not rescinding the rule against asking people\u2019s ages. That is still in the same nosy category as asking how much money they make and whether they are ever going to get married or have children. She just wants to get rid of the coyness of concealing age, which adds to the perception that old age is an embarrassment.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Orlando Museum of Art gets record gift, acquires fan favorites<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Should I Just stand there and be humiliated when the jokes come?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":399,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: Must I stay quiet when they ridicule America? - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4267\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: Must I stay quiet when they ridicule America? - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Should I Just stand there and be humiliated when the jokes come?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4267\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-15T10:35:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4267#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4267\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: Must I stay quiet when they ridicule America?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-15T10:35:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4267\"},\"wordCount\":603,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4267#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/2e6afec538bd55ce205e53792b61305c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4267#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4267\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4267\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: Must I stay quiet when they ridicule America? 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