{"id":4799,"date":"2026-06-20T13:36:06","date_gmt":"2026-06-20T13:36:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4799"},"modified":"2026-06-20T13:36:06","modified_gmt":"2026-06-20T13:36:06","slug":"asking-eric-i-took-a-dna-test-to-debunk-my-sisters-gossip-it-turns-out-she-was-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4799","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: I took a DNA test to debunk my sister\u2019s gossip. It turns out she was right."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> Last year my sister posted on Facebook that I was the result of an affair my mother had.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: I was hurt by the old girlfriend\u2019s post on my husband\u2019s memorial page<\/a><\/p>\n

She said the man was my mother\u2019s first husband. Their marriage had been annulled 16 years earlier, in 1941.<\/p>\n

Throughout my life I did feel that way. My father, mother and three siblings had blond hair, and I had brown hair. My paternal grandmother treated me differently.<\/p>\n

Still, I wanted to prove my sister wrong. I took a DNA test. It looks as though I proved her correct. The test showed 21 matches with my mother\u2019s first husband\u2019s last name. Now I know.<\/p>\n

My concerns: First, I don\u2019t want my sister to learn of the proof. Secondly, I don\u2019t know my family medical history. Lastly, my wife and children need to know. Most of all, I\u2019m concerned about who else knows.<\/p>\n

What should I do? Should I reach out to one of the DNA matches?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Confused Paternity<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Confused:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry about your sister\u2019s actions. This is your news to share or not share; posting about this on Facebook strikes me as cruel. It wasn\u2019t right.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

You get to choose what parts of your narrative and identity are for public consumption and which are private. You may choose to never share this with some or all of the people in your life. That\u2019s just fine.<\/p>\n

To that end, other people may know or suspect, but try to put that out of your mind. If they are not helping you learn something you want to learn about yourself, they are not part of this journey.<\/p>\n

Reaching out to one of the DNA matches may help you get more information and teach you what questions you have. At the same time, you may want to talk to a therapist or a trusted faith leader about what you\u2019ve learned and what you\u2019re feeling. This will surely bring up some complicated emotions. You owe it to yourself to process those.<\/p>\n

Take as much time as you need to process. Again, this is about you. You\u2019ll know when it feels right to let your family in on what\u2019s going on inside. You\u2019ll probably want to let your wife know sooner, however, so that she can walk with you in this and support you as you put the pieces together.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: I seem to be attracting the wrong kind of man, and I am currently in a complicated relationship of more than four years that has become very difficult.<\/p>\n

My partner is 48 and I am 57. He has exhibited narcissistic behavior, lied to me, and has been physically aggressive, including punching holes in my doors and walls.<\/p>\n

While he has expressed regret for hurting me physically, the mistreatment continues. He is inconsistent and often yells or screams at me when I try to communicate.<\/p>\n

Read more President Donald Trump unveils the new Air Force One, a converted Qatari jet<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently, we had a conflict regarding a family gathering in California for his late mother. I was excited to go, but now he says he doesn\u2019t want me there because I don\u2019t wear makeup, even though I wasn\u2019t wearing makeup when we first met.<\/p>\n

I have also discovered him looking at other women and visiting various porn or chat sites, which he denies when confronted.<\/p>\n

I know that I need to leave this situation, but I am struggling to understand why he treats the one person who has been good to him this way. I often find myself worrying about him, even though I am the one being hurt.<\/p>\n

I would truly appreciate your perspective on why I continue to find myself in these types of relationships and how I can move forward.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Wrong Choices<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Choices<\/strong>: It seems clear that you\u2019re not in a safe environment and that your partner is exhibiting dangerous abusive and controlling tendencies, so I strongly encourage you to make leaving a priority.<\/p>\n

It will be easier to parse your own emotions, to recover, and to evaluate your dating patterns when you aren\u2019t suffering mistreatment in a harmful environment.<\/p>\n

Talk to friends and loved ones that you trust about what\u2019s going on and ask them to help you make a plan. You don\u2019t have to do this alone.<\/p>\n

Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org\/1-800-799-SAFE) for confidential, anonymous support.<\/p>\n

The question of why you end up in these types of relationships may take some work with a therapist or support group (the Hotline can point you to resources, many of them free). But no matter the factors that contribute to your dating history, you are not and have not been asking for this, nor is this treatment you deserve.<\/p>\n

As you process your habits and impulses away from the negative presence of your current partner, be gentle with yourself and treat yourself with curiosity rather than condemnation. It takes time.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Missouri judge finds state laws restricting abortion violate voter-approved constitutional amendment<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Now I have a big secret and I need to decide who to tell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4799","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: I took a DNA test to debunk my sister\u2019s gossip. It turns out she was right. - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4799\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: I took a DNA test to debunk my sister\u2019s gossip. 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