{"id":4925,"date":"2026-06-22T11:05:48","date_gmt":"2026-06-22T11:05:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4925"},"modified":"2026-06-22T11:05:48","modified_gmt":"2026-06-22T11:05:48","slug":"asking-eric-do-i-just-keep-cringing-at-her-disgusting-habit-or-tell-her-what-i-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4925","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: Do I just keep cringing at her disgusting habit, or tell her what I think?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> My husband has a sister who is widowed and lives out of state. She usually makes an annual visit and stays at our home for about four days.<\/p>\n

Read more Orlando Sentinel 150: Monday Memory of Orlando wanting to be Florida\u2019s capital<\/a><\/p>\n

We always have a family gathering when she visits. She is kind and genuinely interested in our children and grandchildren despite the fact she never had any of her own.<\/p>\n

She has a longtime habit that basically drives me and my husband crazy. She constantly has her fingers in her mouth, with \u201cconstantly\u201d not being an exaggeration. She wears long, acrylic nails, so some of the time she is clicking the nails on her teeth.<\/p>\n

When she offers to help in the kitchen, I tell her that I want her to enjoy her vacation and would like her to just relax. Truthfully, we don\u2019t want her anywhere near food that others will be eating. We hate that everything she touches has her saliva left behind on it.<\/p>\n

We have not said anything to her about this bad habit. I cringe thinking of another visit from her.<\/p>\n

Is there a polite way to address this, or do I just continue cringing, and when she leaves, sanitizing everything that she touched?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Nails on a Chalkboard<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Nails:<\/strong> Try addressing the habit from the sanitation standpoint; that might be the easiest path to navigate.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It\u2019s fine to say to her, \u201cWe appreciate your help, but you often have your hands in your mouth, and we\u2019re concerned about food safety. If you want to help with food or with dishes, would you wash your hands first and keep them away from your mouth so that everyone is safe?\u201d Yes, this may be awkward, but it\u2019s unlikely she\u2019s unaware of her habit.<\/p>\n

By framing this way, you keep the focus on a shared solution to a problem that, hopefully, everyone understands rather than just critiquing the behavior that\u2019s causing the cringes.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> My wife and I, both seniors, have similar views, but get our news from different sources.<\/p>\n

I read online and listen to podcasts while doing mindless tasks, at the gym and on walks when she does not join me.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

She is totally devoted to cable TV and prefers me to not interrupt; I can do better and am trying.<\/p>\n

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She feels my podcast listening (earbuds) shuts out conversations and is unhappy about that. My listening to them is as I described, not times we would normally be conversing, but she resents my unavailability.<\/p>\n

How best to navigate? I do let her know when I am listening and would gladly interrupt\/pause if it was needed.<\/p>\n

\u2013 News Views<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear News:<\/strong> It sounds like the core desire from your wife is to have a shared space for discussion, but I\u2019m not sure that the podcasts are the problem. If you\u2019re not listening to them in her presence, and she doesn\u2019t like for you to interrupt her cable news broadcasts, then there\u2019s a third, unspoken option that she may be hungering for.<\/p>\n

Try asking if she\u2019d like to set aside a time for both of you to discuss the news you\u2019ve learned about, perhaps over a meal, a walk or some other shared activity. Ask her what she means when she says that your podcasts shut out conversation and try to get at what kind of conversation she\u2019d prefer you both have.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also possible that she\u2019s not keen on the content and bent of the podcasts you\u2019re listening to and what she\u2019s saying is that the rhetoric of the podcasts make discussion unworkable. I can\u2019t say for sure, of course, but a conversation about, well, conversation will help you figure it out.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> My two older sisters and I are of a certain age (I am 68). They are both afflicted by cognitive and\/or hearing issues.<\/p>\n

When we get together and I make an offhanded, flippant remark that simply doesn\u2019t bear repeating they will ask me what I said. Is it rude of me not to repeat myself?<\/p>\n

I usually say \u201cnever mind\u201d or give a wave of the hand or a shaking of the head. (Let\u2019s move on, shall we?) When I do repeat myself, their reactions confirm my assessment of the exchange. (Ouch!)<\/p>\n

\u2013 Unrepeatables<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Unrepeatables:<\/strong> The adage goes, \u201cIf you don\u2019t have anything nice to say, don\u2019t say anything at all,\u201d but a secondary adage might advise, \u201cIf you don\u2019t have anything nice to say, definitely don\u2019t say it twice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Your method of dismissing your flippant remarks, then, is probably the next best option to silence. But do consider the words of the first adage, too. It may be hard to resist these kinds of interjections but consider trying to keep them internal as much as possible. Even if your sisters aren\u2019t hearing the hurtful words, it\u2019s likely that they get the gist.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more New Garden Theatre team has big plans, high hopes<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We don\u2019t want her anywhere near food that others will be eating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4925","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: Do I just keep cringing at her disgusting habit, or tell her what I think? - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4925\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: Do I just keep cringing at her disgusting habit, or tell her what I think? - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We don\u2019t want her anywhere near food that others will be eating.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=4925\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-22T11:05:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4925#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4925\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: Do I just keep cringing at her disgusting habit, or tell her what I think?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-22T11:05:48+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4925\"},\"wordCount\":921,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4925#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/3ccac55769616238d9aeb193121c87e2.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4925#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4925\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=4925\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: Do I just keep cringing at her disgusting habit, or tell her what I think? 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