{"id":6370,"date":"2026-07-03T15:36:48","date_gmt":"2026-07-03T15:36:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6370"},"modified":"2026-07-03T15:36:48","modified_gmt":"2026-07-03T15:36:48","slug":"asking-eric-my-husbands-denials-might-end-our-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6370","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: My husband\u2019s denials might end our marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> My spouse is unable to say \u201cOops, sorry.\u201d He automatically denies having done the thing or blames me or my son \u2013 even if he literally just did it in front of me\/us.<\/p>\n

Read more Florida man faces 10 years for stealing Smokey Bear signs<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been an issue for decades. We first went to counseling because he left a shower head pointing at a weird angle, so water got all over the wall and floor when I turned on the shower. He saw me mopping up and asked why, and I matter-of-factly told him he\u2019d left the shower head pointing out of the shower. I expected a \u201cWhoops! Sorry about that.\u201d (Which would have resolved everything instantly.)<\/p>\n

Instead, he took a snippy tone and asked, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you check the position of the shower head before you turned on the water?\u201d<\/p>\n

Over the years, this pattern has recurred. Recently, he wasn\u2019t flushing the toilet regularly. I asked him nicely not to leave No. 2 behind for me to find, and he responded with an aggressive \u201cYou don\u2019t know that it was me!\u201d (I had just seen him leave the bathroom.)<\/p>\n

I have repeatedly tried asking him to remain calm and explaining that this behavior causes me to lose respect for him and that it damages our relationship. I have explained DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) to him.<\/p>\n

Counselors have in the past put the onus on me to preface any negative feedback with a request that he not rile up. Which works pretty well, assuming I have enough emotional presence of mind to pre-regulate him as I am also regulating myself.<\/p>\n

Help! This affects me cumulatively. Every time he does it, I feel angrier.<\/p>\n

\u2013 \u201cThe Divorce Came out of Nowhere\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Dear Out of Nowhere<\/strong>: You\u2019ve done so much work to address an issue that isn\u2019t really yours to fix in the first place. I\u2019m confused about the advice you got from counselors, but not being privy to what was said, I\u2019m just going to stay out of that.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, you shouldn\u2019t have to ask him not to fly off the handle when you make a request. This is, in part, a communication issue. But if he\u2019s not willing or able to work with you to find new means of communication, you\u2019re stuck holding the bag.<\/p>\n

Behaviors like leveraging his anger at you or denying facts are tactics that can signal an emotionally abusive relationship. These behaviors make having a productive discussion or peaceable relationship untenable.<\/p>\n

Because you\u2019ve tried so many remedies, it\u2019s hard to see a path forward. I\u2019m curious, however, if in any of your counseling you worked on defining what negative feedback is, what it sounds like to each other and how the other person\u2019s temperament and other life experiences might create a skewed perception. It seems like, in these situations you\u2019re offering information and he\u2019s responding as if he\u2019s being attacked. Going down to the base level of what is actually being said and what your shared objectives are might help.<\/p>\n

Read more All-Area track and field: Lake Minneola\u2019s Vanessa Waite is Athlete of Year<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: I am writing for the first time because I was intrigued by the question from \u201cHappy Life,\u201d who wanted to hear more from happy people about how to find fulfillment in life.<\/p>\n

You were so right to focus on gratitude. Listing and counting our blessings are great strategies. Happiness is a gift.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve found that I get a double boost of happiness from passing the gift on to others. I try to thank as many people as possible, and being specific seems to work best.<\/p>\n

Family relationships improve when you thank your spouse for preparing a good dinner or mowing the lawn or even cleaning the bathroom. If you thank your children when they do something helpful or kind, they may surprise you by picking up the habit and thanking you.<\/p>\n

Tell a friend how much you appreciate their good listening skills or the way they ask great questions. They may not know they have that strength unless you tell them. I feel good when I actually make that phone call or write that thank you note. Making someone feel appreciated is double happiness for us both.<\/p>\n

My mother said it best. When her husband died right before their 50th anniversary, her friends wanted to know how she managed to keep her positive attitude after such a painful loss. Mom told them, \u201cEvery day I do something nice for someone else. Then I do something nice for me.\u201d Simple but profound. I try to follow Mom\u2019s advice, and it works for me.<\/p>\n

\u2013 A Grateful Reader<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Reader:<\/strong> Thank you for this wonderful letter. I love putting gratitude in action. And you\u2019re right, it does so much good to let people know that you see them, and you appreciate them. I\u2019m going to take this to heart and I\u2019m sure many readers will as well.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Rescue mission launches to save NASA telescope that\u2019s falling back to Earth<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He’ll do something right in front of me and then deny it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6370","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: My husband\u2019s denials might end our marriage - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6370\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: My husband\u2019s denials might end our marriage - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"He'll do something right in front of me and then deny it.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6370\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-03T15:36:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6370#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6370\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: My husband\u2019s denials might end our marriage\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-03T15:36:48+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6370\"},\"wordCount\":908,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6370#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/9bb008b98fdbacc5e228994638e7454e.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6370#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6370\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6370\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My husband\u2019s denials might end our marriage - 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