{"id":6625,"date":"2026-07-06T09:04:03","date_gmt":"2026-07-06T09:04:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6625"},"modified":"2026-07-06T09:04:03","modified_gmt":"2026-07-06T09:04:03","slug":"miss-manners-everyone-from-my-surgeon-to-my-stylist-talks-down-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6625","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: Everyone, from my surgeon to my stylist, talks down to me"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: As a woman in her 70s who looks her age, I increasingly find myself in situations where service people talk down to me. They probably think they are being flattering, but I don\u2019t see it that way.<\/p>\n

Read more Prosecutors argue the man accused of killing Charlie Kirk should stand trial<\/a><\/p>\n

For instance, I recently had a haircut, and the stylist called me \u201cGorgeous\u201d several times, as in, \u201cWould you like me to trim your bangs, Gorgeous?\u201d<\/p>\n

Then there was an oral surgeon who kept calling me \u201cyoung lady.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to be snarky with a man who was about to drill into my jawbone, so I said nothing.<\/p>\n

What can I (politely) say to these people to let them know their remarks aren\u2019t appreciated?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: All right, this is the patronizing version of complimenting the elderly. Those who call you \u201cyoung lady\u201d do not actually believe you are young; they believe that you want to pass for young. And there is a difference between blurting out that a woman is beautiful and addressing her by the cheeky title of \u201cGorgeous.\u201d<\/p>\n

But as you said, it is often unwise to retaliate, pointing out that these people are trying \u2014 and failing \u2014 to pass for charming. Especially if they are armed with a drill.<\/p>\n

The real comeback will be when that surgeon is old and young men call him \u201cyoung fella\u201d and young women tell him he is cute.<\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS:<\/strong> The oddest thing started happening to me when I reached my 80s: Strangers began approaching me to tell me how beautiful I am.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It continues regularly at the supermarket, at restaurants or on the bus. It is unnerving and embarrassing. All my life, no one ever told me I was cute or attractive. I am not ugly, but I\u2019ve never thought I was pretty, either.<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: July 6, Philando Castile fatally shot during traffic stop<\/a><\/p>\n

Have you heard from other elderly ladies who have experienced this phenomenon? If so, what do they attribute it to? I\u2019m stumped.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER:<\/strong> You are presumably classifying this with the patronizing remarks that are often made to old people, especially women: pretending to mistake their age, addressing them as if they were trying to pass for young, and speaking to them as if they were cute children. There is plenty of that going around.<\/p>\n

But there is also a less condescending possibility: The admiration may actually be sincere.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Our society is far from throwing off the notion that aging is unfortunate, if not reprehensible. But Miss Manners has seen small signs that older women are not considered as invisible as they used to be. Powerful women are conspicuous in politics and business. Actresses who are no longer ingenues make striking appearances, not only in dramas, but also at formal events. Even the fashion industry is beginning to realize that the slim youngsters they have always favored have considerably less buying power than their seniors.<\/p>\n

Then it becomes noticeable that, as with older men, some are more attractive than others. The standard for beauty is obviously different. Beauty in the freshness of youth is not the same as beauty in the majesty of old age.<\/p>\n

So you might consider the possibility that although you were not considered pretty when young, you are now beautiful. And that some people are sophisticated enough to recognize that.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Brazil left to second-guess penalty kick choice after earliest World Cup exit since 1990<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

These people are trying \u2014 and failing \u2014 to pass for charming.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":399,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: Everyone, from my surgeon to my stylist, talks down to me - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6625\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: Everyone, from my surgeon to my stylist, talks down to me - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"These people are trying \u2014 and failing \u2014 to pass for charming.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=6625\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-06T09:04:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6625#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6625\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/47d95744296542489ff5c4bd403450f8\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: Everyone, from my surgeon to my stylist, talks down to me\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-06T09:04:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6625\"},\"wordCount\":634,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6625#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/2e6afec538bd55ce205e53792b61305c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6625#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6625\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/orlandorelocationreport.com\\\/?p=6625\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: Everyone, from my surgeon to my stylist, talks down to me - 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