{"id":942,"date":"2026-05-17T15:33:12","date_gmt":"2026-05-17T15:33:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=942"},"modified":"2026-05-17T15:33:12","modified_gmt":"2026-05-17T15:33:12","slug":"asking-eric-should-i-tell-my-son-the-real-reason-hes-an-only-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=942","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: Should I tell my son the real reason he\u2019s an only child?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> We had only one child, partly because he was a preemie and I didn\u2019t want to go through that again. Another reason is that my husband was no help until our child was about 8 years old.<\/p>\n

Read more Demand for cruises appears undimmed despite hantavirus and other onboard outbreaks<\/a><\/p>\n

After we had a child, my husband decided he wasn\u2019t ready for the responsibility and spent most of his free time with his friends and drinking a lot. He finally stopped drinking so much when he was 36 but still drinks with his friends and by himself a few times a week.<\/p>\n

We have discussed his drinking many times, but he doesn\u2019t think it\u2019s an issue since he drinks fewer days of the week now. He still has an issue with binge drinking but doesn\u2019t do it around us.<\/p>\n

Our son is an adult now; he knows his father drinks but doesn\u2019t know how much. He has asked why we didn\u2019t have more children.<\/p>\n

I told him it\u2019s due to him being a preemie and the issues from that. Should I be honest about the other reason: his father being no help and the drinking? That was honestly the biggest reason we didn\u2019t have more children.<\/p>\n

I worked full time while my child was growing up so doing it mostly by myself was exhausting. I would really love your advice on this.<\/p>\n

\u2013 The Other Reason<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Reason<\/strong>: You should feel free to share as much with your child as you feel comfortable sharing. However, you needn\u2019t feel you\u2019re being dishonest by not telling the whole story.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

It\u2019s possible that your child\u2019s question has brought to light a need that you have and it\u2019s important to listen to that need. I\u2019d humbly suggest that telling the whole story may be as helpful for you as it might be for your child.<\/p>\n

Your husband\u2019s drinking has taken a toll on you and on your family. It\u2019s very likely that you\u2019ve had to take on far more than just the child-rearing and work responsibilities you listed in order to keep everyone afloat. You may feel isolated or frustrated, and those feelings need an outlet. You\u2019re in a partnership that\u2019s unequal and it seems that your husband hasn\u2019t done enough work to acknowledge that or make amends.<\/p>\n

While talking to your child about the reality of your family dynamics (dynamics that he\u2019s likely quite aware of already, to some extent) will be helpful, please also consider attending an Al-Anon or a SMART Recovery Family & Friends meeting. These groups are specifically designed to help support people in relationships with those struggling with substance abuse. You\u2019ll meet people who have walked the same path as you and who can give you support and guidance for ensuring your emotional and mental well-being.<\/p>\n

In short, you may have had to do a lot of this work alone for much of your marriage, but you don\u2019t have to continue to navigate this situation in isolation.<\/p>\n

Read more Drone strike sparks fire on the edge of the UAE\u2019s nuclear power plant in latest blow to Iran truce<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: My wife and I are financing our granddaughter\u2019s college education.<\/p>\n

She has spent the last two years enjoying the social life at her sorority and traveling to vacation spots. Her GPA is poor and she has had to repeat two courses.<\/p>\n

Do we have a right to say she must maintain a better GPA, or we will consider withdrawing our financial assistance?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Funding Granddad<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Granddad<\/strong>: You sure do! Firstly, it\u2019s your money and you have the right to do what you want with it.<\/p>\n

The tuition payments may be a gift presented without strings, but there are still plenty of reasonable expectations that come with a college education. She\u2019s not meeting the college\u2019s expectations in some ways \u2013 and is suffering the consequences. It\u2019s fair to have a recalibrating conversation with her and her parents.<\/p>\n

The conversation will go best if you keep the focus on establishing a reasonable shared set of goals that can be achieved by the combination of your funds and her efforts.<\/p>\n

Ask her what she wants to accomplish in college. If she\u2019s not engaged with her major or her classes and, therefore, not doing the work or not performing well, it\u2019s not worth her time or your money. She may need more guidance about how to best make college work for her. It\u2019s not always a plug-and-play situation.<\/p>\n

Consider finding other metrics of success in addition to GPA. Obviously, her grades are important but they\u2019re not the only way of determining if she\u2019s making the most of her college education. Include her in naming some other metrics, as well.<\/p>\n

Her failure to lock in may be a sign of immaturity; this is natural. Being challenged to play a more active role in her education and her own success is a great way of building skills that will benefit her as she steps further into adulthood.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more North America\u2019s largest commuter rail system remains shut a second day as Monday rush hour looms<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: Our granddaughter isn’t locking in at college. Can we threaten to pull our financial support?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: Should I tell my son the real reason he\u2019s an only child? - Orlando Relocation Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orlandorelocationreport.com\/?p=942\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: Should I tell my son the real reason he\u2019s an only child? - Orlando Relocation Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: Our granddaughter isn't locking in at college. 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