DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a bridal shower invitation indicating the date and location (an hour’s drive away) for a day of food, fun and drinks. It also stated to RSVP, which I did.
Read more Bianchi: SEC boss Greg Sankey just told Congress: Our way or the highway!
Twenty days later, I was informed the cost per person was $260 and that full payment was due within 48 hours, as the deposits for transportation, food, etc., had already been paid by the host.
I waited till the 48th hour, then sent a courtesy email indicating I would no longer be attending. I stated that it had nothing to do with the cost itself, just the principle. I felt it was poor etiquette and classless to request RSVPs yet omit any indication that there would be a cost to attend. The “bait and switch” tactic doesn’t sit well with me.
I’m also not invited to the destination wedding. What are your thoughts on this?
GENTLE READER: Are you surprised not to be invited to the wedding? Did you suppose they would take a chance on your scolding them if you didn’t like the arrangements?
Mind you, Miss Manners agrees with your indignation at this fraudulent maneuver. If the couple is selling the opportunity to honor themselves, they should have alerted their potential customers up-front.
The surprise charge gave you the opportunity to pull out. However, it did not give you license to be rude to them. All you had to say was that you found you could not attend after all. They would have had no difficulty figuring out why. Or just do not pay the bill, in which case they would doubtless remove you from the guest list.
Chastising them, in something you quaintly call a “courtesy email,” was uncalled for.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend is going to be taking me out to a fondue restaurant for our anniversary. What is the etiquette for eating fondue?
Read more Central Florida trending hotter through the week as heat continues climb
GENTLE READER: Mostly to avoid strings of cheese trailing across your chin or onto the table.
It helps to twirl the coated bread over the pot of hot cheese to cool it before returning it to your plate. And Miss Manners advises using your dinner fork to remove it from the cooking fork before eating.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since some political figures have demonstrated and encouraged boorish behavior, what was once seen as good breeding is now eschewed as unnecessary or unmanly. Is there still a place in such a world for civility?
Many cringe-worthy statements are applauded by a (thin) majority of people in the U.S.
GENTLE READER: Well, that’s the problem: voters who think that rudeness and vulgarity are signs of strength, and that dignity and the willingness to cooperate in order to get things done are signs of weakness.
And yet people crave to be treated civilly. Miss Manners is often asked what can be done to make our leaders behave in what used to be called a statesmanlike way.
It’s called voting.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Read more Universal: Multiday Horror Nights passes now on sale