DEAR MISS MANNERS: As my guests were all sitting around in my living room after a nice dinner, one friend took their socks off.
Read more More afternoon storms and hot weather as temps climb to nearly 100 degrees
This was the third time this has happened in the past two months.
One time, they said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I have to take my socks off.” By then, one sock was already off.
I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. If it were just the two of us watching TV, it might be OK, but this was totally different.
GENTLE READER: When someone announces having to do something, it is reasonable to assume that the hope not to offend is, at best, a mild one. And your friend no doubt already has a response prepared to any objection you might raise — as if it were not awkward enough to argue with a guest.
If this were a one-time event, you might be forced to overlook it. But if this is a close friend — as it seems to be, judging by the frequent invitations — perhaps it is time for you to have slippers available at the house.
You can say this was a suggestion from another guest, who was finicky enough to be put off by the display of bare feet. You, of course, only want your friend to be comfortable.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I often order a cocktail with our restaurant meals. My understanding is that the cocktail should be served first, with time allowed to enjoy the drink before the appetizers and meal arrive. However, the last few times we dined out, the cocktails were served simultaneously with the appetizers.
Because cocktails are often a mixture of spirits and increasingly exotic ingredients, they tend to overpower any accompanying food and are not enjoyably paired with a meal. Has the protocol changed on this?
Read more Asking Eric: The grandma was insulted, but I get why her gifts went unopened
GENTLE READER: There is a strange misconception that when it comes to etiquette, restaurants set the standards for formal service. This is not true, unless, Miss Manners supposes, your definition of formality begins and ends with having to wear shoes.
You are correct that cocktails are not typically served with more than light food, but they are also not served at the dining table, being reserved for pre- and post-dinner congregating. Restaurants throw them in your lap because there is nowhere else, and they deliver everything at the same time because they want you out to make room for the next customer.
If you would like your cocktail served at a different time, you have but to ask. You are, after all, a customer, not a guest.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why do you think it’s considered rude to correct someone’s bad manners?
GENTLE READER: It’s not always rude: Parents can correct their children; teachers can correct their students; and Miss Manners will correct you if you ask her.
But it is rude to correct the manners of a peer for the same reason everyone used to know it was rude to boss strangers around on the street: We do not like it when it happens to us.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.